Newlyweds Are Exhausting to be Around, and Other Such Trials
by needdl
Summary: Neji and Tenten get engaged, get hitched, and get sappy. Their friends are not enjoying it.


another part of the modern au! lots of character perspectives in this one; it was fun to write.

* * *

Kiba wasn't sure exactly how it happened, but somehow he had become… drinking bros with Neji.

Yeah, it was weird.

Somewhere along the line of him being Hinata's friend, and Neji being Naruto's friend, they had interacted enough that now they sometimes got drinks, just the two of them. As, like, friends and shit.

Which was _super_ weird, because frankly Kiba had kind of always figured he'd get along better with Tenten than Neji. But it turned out Tenten had a low tolerance for the dumb shit he got up to and after a while they'd grate on each other's nerves. Kiba still wasn't sure how Lee figured into that equation, because Lee did dumb shit all the time and he and Tenten were besties. Maybe Lee's irrepressible energy and positive attitude balanced it out.

Whatever.

So now he was genuinely friends with Neji- and he _liked_ the guy too, which was the weirdest part of this… weird equation. He thought Neji was _funny_ , and not just when they were both drunk. Neji had a very dry, sometimes scathing sense of humor, and when he chose to utilize it, Kiba was left reeling.

So sometimes he'd text Neji, or vice versa, and the two of them would meet up at Kiba's favorite bar and get drinks and sometimes food, and hang out.

Kiba was admittedly a little distracted at this particular meet up, because the Konoha Shinobi were playing a game on TV- but hey, home team! Gotta support your city.

Kiba was watching the TV and nodding along to whatever Neji was saying- work, lawyer stuff, intellectual property this, marrying Tenten that- YO.

He whipped back around to face Neji, beer splashing out of his glass and dribbling over his fingers. He took no notice of it, too busy gaping incredulously at Neji.

For his part, Neji looked smug but also a little apprehensive. Kiba cleared his throat.

"So- like- like- proposing?"

"Yes," Neji said dryly.

"So- so- you have like, like a ring or whatever-?"

Neji pulled a small velvet box out of his coat pocket, and Kiba had seen enough rom-coms to know what _that_ was.

"You- you're gonna propose- Tenten-"

Neji was smiling down at the box. "Yes."

Kiba stared at him for a few more seconds, then collapsed against the back of his seat. "Man, you can't just _throw_ this on me on a goddamn Thursday night!"

* * *

Beautiful wedding, Ino mused to herself. Really, just gorgeous. Classy, as any Hyuga wedding was, with elegant decorations in a beautiful venue.

Yep, yep. Gorgeous.

What _wasn't_ so nice was the best man getting drunk and crying into the appetizers. The other bridesmaids were far too delicate to deal with Lee, so Ino rolled up her sleeves (metaphorically, of course, her dress was a halter-top (and her decolletage was _fire_ )) and hauled him to the bathroom to douse him in the sink.

She yanked Lee back out of the water by his hair, leaving him sputtering and flailing wildly. She put her mouth by his ear and snarled, "Are you sobered up, or are we gonna do it again?"

Lee made a series of indecipherable noises. Ino hitched her skirt back and declared, "Alright, round six-"

"Ino! I am fine!"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU CRYING, ROCK LEE."

"I CRY ALL THE TIME IT IS JUST HOW I AM I FEEL EMOTIONS VERY INTENSELY AND I OWE IT TO MYSELF TO EXPRESS THEM I AM SORRY FOR YELLING."

Ino groaned and let go of his hair. "Fine! Fine." She shoved her finger in his face, and he went cross-eyed trying to watch it. "But of you keep being so loud and making a scene, I am going to rip your eyebrows _right_ off your forehead!"

"No!" Lee clapped his hands over said eyebrows. "I just got them threaded!"

"You _did?_ " Ino snapped her hand to his wrists, trying to see the brows. "But they're still so bushy!"

Lee looked indignant. "I have thick eyebrows! On fleek!"

Ino threw her hands up in the air. "Fine! God. But my threat stands. No distracting from the bride and groom!"

He regarded her very somberly. "You are very intimidating."

"Thank you." They regarded each other for a moment, before Lee turned to the mirror and straightened out his tie and hair.

After a moment of staring into space, arms crossed and hip propped against the sink, Ino blurted, "But do you think I'm _too_ intimidating?"

"Uh, what?" That was probably the most normal thing Lee had ever said.

"It's- ugh, it's- friggin' Sai."

"The artist you brought with you as your plus one? He is very handsome, although I am somewhat concerned over how pale he is. Do you know if he's ever had a vitamin D deficiency? I brought supplements, and would be happy to provide-"

"Wait, wait." Ino stared at him. "You brought- you brought vitamin D supplements to your best friends'...s… friends's's- the wedding of your two best friends?"

"Well, more than vitamin D, I have several nutritional supplements in my bag- of course, I did not bring it into the ceremony-"

" _Why_?"

"It would have been rude, and rather strange, to be holding a bag full of supplements and vitamins in a wedding ceremony."

"No, of course I didn't mean _that_ , why did you bring them at all?"

"In case Neji or Tenten needed some! They are both very stressed out. Neji didn't blink all of yesterday."

"I- okay." Ino raised her hands in surrender. "Props to you, for being such a spectacular best man."

"Thank you!" Lee paused and carefully smoothed down his eyebrows. "Now, what is the matter with you and Sai?"

Ino waved her hand dismissively. "Oh that's- that's not important, we should get back to the reception-"

"Nonsense, Ino! You can tell me, and perhaps I can offer you helpful insight!"

She contemplated it, fingers tapping against the sink, then sighed. "Yeah, okay."

"Splendid!"

"It's just… I've known Sai as long as Neji and Tenten have been together, and I thought he felt the same way I did… but we've been "sort of" together for a year now and it's always _me_ taking the initiative and planning dates and just like, doing all of the emotional labor too-" She cut herself off and ground her teeth together. "I feel like he's with me because it's the path of least resistance."

Lee nodded slowly. "I see."

The stood in silence for a few moments, before Ino sagged against the wall and asked, "You're with Gaara, how'd that happen? He's not super emotive either, maybe it's a similar situation."

He tilted his head thoughtfully. "With me and Gaara… Gaara may not be emotive, but he is deeply contemplative, and he realized how he felt for me on his own and addressed it in a very straightforward way."

Ino listened in silence. "I do not know Sai very well, but it seems to me that Sai does not acknowledge his emotions in the same manner, nor do you wait for other people to give you permission to do what you want."

Ino shot him a quick glance, brows raised. Lee backtracked hastily. "I do not mean that in a bad way. In fact, as a woman in a STEM field, I think your drivenness has led to, to great success in your endeavours where you may otherwise not have been- uh, successful-"

Ino couldn't help but laugh at his panic. "It's okay, Lee. I've known I'm a boss-ass bitch my entire life."

"Ah, yes. With regards to Sai, I think your control, paired with his- hm, I cannot think of a word-"

"Lack of emotion?"

"For lack of a better term at the moment, sure. You lead things, Ino, and Sai is used to that. It may be that he thinks you would not like him taking any initiative."

"Huh." Ino's nails clinked against the sink. "That's… that's very insightful, Lee. Thank you."

"Of course!"

They stood in silence for a moment. Ino's nails on the marble were the only sound to fill the room.

"Control… heh." Ino smirked a little.

Lee asked blithely, "Does Sai ever top, or are you always "in control"?"

Ino shrugged a shoulder elegantly, unfazed. "Well, if he's been good."

* * *

Neji and Tenten returned from their honeymoon relaxed, romantic, and _way_ more handsy than was strictly necessary.

At least, that was Sakura's opinion as she watched them make out in a public space for the second time in five minutes. With her seated right in front of them.

 _Are you serious? Right in front of my salad?_ She thought to herself, then patted herself on the back. So there, trainee who called her "out of the loop". She was _hip_.

Hm. She sounded like Kakashi. Maybe she wasn't so _hip._

She looked up at her dining companions. They'd separated, thankfully, but were definitely sitting closer than they normally did. A few scootches closer and they'd be in each other's laps.

And while Sakura was glad they'd had a good time on their honeymoon and were all in love and stuff, she wasn't so glad about… all the _kissing._ Because she wanted to talk to her friends, and she couldn't do that if their mouths were otherwise occupied.

Frankly, this was the behavior she expected from Ino, directed at a non-participative Sai. (Sai never responded to Ino's public displays of affection, and it was hilarious to watch her get more and more amorous while Sai just… sat there.)

But hey. Newlyweds. It wasn't something that Sakura could truly understand- _yet,_ she promised herself, glaring at her bare ring finger. She'd get there, damn it.

* * *

Tenten always told him it was creepy, but Lee loved to watch the affection blossom between his two dearest friends.

He'd cried all through their rehearsal dinner, wept his way through the wedding, sobbed as he drove them to the airport for their honeymoon, howled as he picked them up again two weeks later, and now was whimpering into his sweatband as he watched them spar in the dojo.

They'd sparred there before, of course, as a couple and just as friends, but there was nothing quite like marriage to bring out fiery passion in combat.

Tenten pinned Neji to the mat, but it certainly wasn't a normal sort of pin- she straddled his waist and twined her fingers with his to press his hands into the mat by his head. Lee could see numerous way for Neji to escape her hold, and was about to cheer him on when Tenten ducked her head down to kiss her husband.

 _Oh_ , Lee thought. _I see_.

After a moment of thought, he glanced back down at his Fitbit. The numbers clicked to twenty seconds, and he slapped his palm down on the floor with a loud _bang_ and declared "Twenty second pin! Tenten wins the round!"

The couple tore apart and stared at him for a few seconds, before Neji whipped his head around and stared up at Tenten suspiciously. She muttered, "Oh, yeah, the spar," before noticing his look and exclaiming, "What, you think that was a deliberate distraction?!"

Neji narrowed his eyes.

"In any case," Lee said cheerfully, "That's two of three for Tenten- she wins the match!"

Tenten threw her arms in the air and whooped, then shrieked and tucked her elbows protectively into her side as Neji reached up to prod his fingers into her ribs.

* * *

Hinata knocked on the door of her cousin's home with some trepidation. Based on Sakura's recount of the lunch she'd had with them earlier that week, she could expect her cousin and his lovely new wife to be quite… engrossed in one another.

Not that she disliked Neji, or Tenten. In fact, Tenten was quickly endearing herself to Hinata because she'd always seemed to want to get to know her better, not because Hinata was her significant other's cousin, but because she genuinely liked her. Hinata was shy and stumbling and slow to form friendships, and Tenten's straightforward but relaxed attitude was soothing to her.

But still, Hinata wasn't looking forward to watching her lock lips with her cousin slash brother figure.

She steeled herself mentally as the door clicked open, preparing for- well, she wasn't quite sure, but she was certainly expecting some form of- of debauchery.

The door opened and Tenten stood in the entrance, smiling warmly at Hinata and looking relatively un-debaucherous. She was dressed in worn sweatpants and a faded t-shirt, with a bandana over her hair and a streak of grime on her cheek.

"Hey Hinata! Sorry, we got caught up moving some stuff around and I forgot to get changed."

"Oh, no, that's alright," Hinata responded, ever polite.

"Come on in! Neji's preoccupied with being stupid and wrong, but I can make some tea-"

Neji's voice called indignantly through the halls, " _I'm_ not the one who thinks the sofa should against the back wall."

"It's better than wedging it in the corner, like some kind of _idiot_." Tenten yelled back. She turned back to Hinata with a pleasant smile. "Tea?"

Hinata suppressed a giggle. "Th- that sounds lovely."

She followed Tenten into the house. She'd visited the house a few times with them while they were first viewing it, and then again after they'd bought it. She had yet to see it with the two of them officially moved in- though by the sound of it, they weren't quite completely settled.

(Something that she, Hanabi, and eventually their father had spent much time discussing was the fact that the couple bought a four bedroom house- the master, a guest bedroom downstairs, and two more in the upstairs.)

Tenten escorted her into the kitchen and grabbed the tea set as Hinata sat down at the table. Hinata recognized the tea set as the one she had gotten them for their engagement gift. The sight of the set made her beam- it was set out prominently and clearly used often. Neji, of course, liked tea very much, and though she had been slightly trepidatious that Tenten wouldn't use it that apparently wasn't the case.

The soft fall of footsteps behind her made Hinata turn, and she smiled at Neji as he entered the kitchen. He smiled back in greeting, condescendingly patting her head as he passed by her. Hinata stifled an eye roll. _Brothers._

Neji stopped a few feet away from Tenten and folded his arms. "The couch is too short for the wall. We're putting it in the corner."

Tenten spun to face him and jostled the tea set, spilling hot water on her hands. She cursed and examined her fingers, scowling at Neji when he jerked towards her in alarm. "Couches can't be _too short_ for a wall. That's nonsense. You're full of nonsense."

"Is your hand all right?"

" _Your_ … hand is... all right. Shut up. I don't know. Leave me alone."

"Eloquent," Neji said dryly, pushing past her and nudging her out of the way as he began preparing the tea. Tenten huffed and sat down across from Hinata at the table.

"So, Hinata, has your school year been off to a good start?"

Hinata had a brief but intense flashback to three weeks previous, when she'd made half of her second-hour class write letters to their parents explaining why they had failed a lab and had to go to the nurse's office for burn treatment. "It's… why did I decide to teach middle school?"

Tenten snorted. "Hell if I know. I could barely manage to TA for undergrads when I was getting my master's."

"You also have the patience of a wolverine," Neji said, smoothly placing cups of finely-brewed tea in front of the two women. He took a seat next to Hinata with his own cup, and looked quite satisfied with himself after tasting it.

"I have _plenty_ of patience. Don't worry about it."

"Believe me, I'm not worried. I'm not some poor undergraduate student, after all."

"You-"

"Anyway, Hinata," Neji smoothly turned to his cousin, leaving Tenten griping to herself behind him. "What happened to make you question your career choice so thoroughly?"

As Hinata departed not quite three hours later, she was gratified to realize that she hadn't actually seen any overly expressive displays of affection between the two of them- in fact, nothing at all. Apparently the newlyweds were capable of toning it down.

Just out of the doorway, she realized she'd left her keys on the table, and turned back. Neji and Tenten had walked her to the door, and had turned around to walk back into the house once Hinata had reached the steps outside. Their position a few feet down the hallway gave Hinata a front row spot to watch her cousin grab Tenten's bottom and squeeze.

As her soul left her body in mortification, Hinata frantically wondered if she _really_ needed her car keys, or if she could just walk towards home until she passed out in the sidewalk.

* * *

Choji admittedly wasn't very close to Tenten, or to Neji, but he was friends with both of them, and had listened to Neji drunkenly talk about marrying Tenten, and Tenten's hair, and her eyes, and how she scrunched up her nose, for two hours _straight_ at his bachelor's party.

(Drunk Neji was highly unsettling- he enunciated perfectly and possessed fine motor functions, but he had no filter and would go for minutes on end without blinking. Sometimes he'd cock his head, birdlike, and stare with pale, haunting eyes.

It made Choji appreciate how conscious Neji normally was about the effect his unusual eyes could have- most of the time, he would tone down their effect with indirect eye contact and minute facial expressions. But blank and staring was not something that was fun for the receiving party.)

So, even if he wasn't _best_ friends with the couple, he still had several mutual friends with them, and was comfortable talking to either of them alone. For a little bit, and then he wanted Ino or Shikamaru to come and help with the conversation.

Right now, he was trying to send Ino an SOS across the room, staring at her as she flirted incessantly with that painter-artist guy. He'd been talking to Tenten, which was fine, Tenten was super nice, but somehow Neji had shown up and things had gotten… weird.

At face value, they were having a normal conversation, but based on their tone of voice and all the pauses, there was some sex thing going on underneath it.

Neji sipped some of his wine, eyes fixated on his wife. "Tenten, I doubt it."

See like- like _that_. Why would he need to say her name before a three-word phrase? All she had said was that she thought Hanabi would be late.

Choji beamed his SOS gaze at Ino as hard as he could. She was completely oblivious, and Choji watched in resignation as the painter (Sai, his name was Sai) turned away for a hot second and Ino immediately tugged down the neckline of her shirt, then rearranged the placement of her boobs. She was smiling coyly up at Sai by the time he turned around. (To his credit, the guy didn't so much as blink.)

Always great to see one of your childhood best friends grope themselves into looking more attractive. Speaking of which…

Choji let out a quiet sigh of relief as Shikamaru's hand clapped down on his shoulder in greeting. He nodded to Tenten and Neji and said, "Hey, Tenten, thanks again for getting the alcohol-free drinks. We really appreciate it."

Choji glanced over to where Temari was sitting with her feet propped up, talking to Lee and Gaara with her plate balanced on her belly and her mocktail in one hand.

Tenten blinked slowly and took a long swig of her beer. "Yes, that was me who coordinated that. All- all me. Yes."

Next to her, Neji quirked his brow and looked self-righteous, but said nothing.

With Shikamaru's presence, the conversation turned back into the normal human spectrum, and Choji almost cried into his food in relief.

He didn't, of course. He didn't want to get his bread all soggy.

* * *

Temari smirked to herself as she watched her partner rescue Choji from what had apparently been a very uncomfortable conversation, if the frantic looks were to be of any indication.

To be fair, Tenten and Neji had only been married for about a month and a half. They were bound to be very intensely into each other, and being the witness of that was no doubt mortifying.

Watching them made her somewhat thankful that she'd circumvented the whole "marriage" nonsense, because if she had to spend a honeymoon in close quarters with Shikamaru they'd end up murdering each other and wasting the probably ridiculous amount of money they would've had to spend on a wedding.

Sure, Yoshino was pissed that her darling little boy had knocked up his girlfriend and was going to have a bastard kid, but neither Shikamaru or Temari wanted to get married, not even to each other. And yes, Yoshino had decided to blame Temari for corrupting Shikamaru, but the woman apparently didn't know her kid at all if she really thought he'd ever wanted to get married.

Temari took another pull from her mocktail. Yoshino was set on making the two of them miserable, until they either married or seperated. Both were unlikely to happen, so Temari was just bracing herself to never get along with her sort-of mother-in-law.

She pulled herself from her brooding- no sense in bringing her in-law problems to a housewarming party, after all- and caught the tail end of Lee's story about a bird, two bench press weights, and a cheese stick that looked like the Eiffel Tower.

It really seemed more like a "you had to be there" sort of story, but Gaara was doing his equivalent of an indulgent smile as he listened to his partner speak animatedly, so Temari was more than willing to listen to Lee prattle on.

In some ways, it was Tenten and Temari that had facilitated Lee and Gaara's relationship- not because the two of them were friends. Definitely not.

Because in high school, thirty seconds after meeting each other, Temari had darkly promised Tenten that she was going to beat her black and blue.

Tenten- prep school, sports scholarship, white collar family Tenten- had sneered right back, and told Temari that she'd cut out her eyes before Temari could even lay a hand on her.

One brutally bloody fist (and knife) fight later, Temari had emerged victorious but badly wounded, and gone home slightly shaken at the unexpected grit behind the girl she thought was a common trust fund baby.

Turned out, before Tenten's father had settled in Konoha, he'd run a black-market arms deal, and had raised his kid to be just as vicious as he'd had to be. What Tenten lacked in stamina she made up for in skill. Temari still had several faded scars from this first encounter.

The competition between the two of them went on for years- anytime they saw each other, they were at each other's throats. But a series of events disrupted Temari's bloody lifestyle, and before she quite knew how it happened she herself was a trust fund baby at Konoha Prep.

It was tense, to say the least. Especially when Kankuro and Tenten went out for a month- why and how it happened, Temari didn't know, but coming home and watching them neck on the couch was something Temari was glad she wouldn't see again.

They'd broken up amicably enough, and somehow remained friends. Eventually the friendship had transferred to Temari as well, and she and Tenten would beat each other up at the judo. In a friendly way. Then they'd stitch themselves up and talk shit about each other. In a friendly way.

Temari watched as Tenten absently smoothed over Neji's tie, even as they were deep in discussion with Shikamaru and Choji. He gave the top of her head a soft look, then pulled her in and kissed her temple. They'd been pretty close in high school too, Temari remembered. Kankuro probably never had any real chance.


End file.
